


An Exercise In Hope

by Revever



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 23:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3788410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revever/pseuds/Revever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternative plot development from “Darkness Ascending”. Londo needs to face his guilt and fears, as well as to save Centauri Prime again, this time from revengeful Shadows' allies. G'Kar and Vir do everything they can to help, including enlisting Lyta Alexander's help. Will that be enough to defy ominous dreams and change prophecies into unfulfilled metaphors?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. From The Valley of Dead

**Author's Note:**

> This is an alternative plot development from 5th season episode “Darkness Ascending” onward in regard to Londo's and Centauri arc. As much as I admire original idea I also felt the need for a more positive ending. The direct impulse to actually writing it came from Selena's fanfiction “White Lies”. And so it is, a shameless fix-it fic. But I hope it would be an enjoyable read anyway.

 

 

 

_"You don't see yet, Genry, why we perfected and practice Foretelling?"_

_"No—"_

_"To exhibit the perfect uselessness of knowing the answer to the wrong question."_

_(...)_

_"The unknown," said Faxe's soft voice in the forest, "the unforetold, the unproven, that is what life is based on. Ignorance is the ground of thought. Unproof is the ground of action. (...) Tell me, Genry, what is known? What is sure, predictable, inevitable—the one certain thing you know concerning your future, and mine?"_

_"That we shall die."_

_"Yes. There's really only one question that can be answered, Genry, and we already know the answer. ... The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next.”_

 

“ _Left Hand of Darkness” Ursula K. Le Guin_

 

 

 

**1\. From The Valley of Dead**

 

Londo Mollari walked through the permanently busy corridors of Babylon 5 with some exasperation. He was certain, absolutely certain, that there was something he had forgotten, something incredibly important, yet he could not pin down what it might have been about. Realizing that he had just spent the last fifteen minutes wandering aimlessly and was near the docking bay, at customs, did nothing to appease his irritation.

Then a scream caught his attention and he noticed a Narn woman, quite old, clothed in ragged dress. She was covered in dust and blood, and seemed completely misplaced between other people, other races too, for there was no other Narn around. From amidst curious, but generally indifferent, crowd she pointed her trembling finger at him.

'I know you!' she screamed.' You are Londo Mollari! You are the one who destroyed our world! You killed my children, my parents and my beloved husband! And you killed me, but you should know that a Narn will never stop fighting back! We won't forget!'

She started to run towards him, but he wasn't able to move, despite the clear danger. All he could do was to look around, but people weren't looking back. If anything, they were avoiding looking at him or at the Narn woman at all. And G'Kar was nowhere around. Even if he had promised to be, even if he had said he wanted to be his bodyguard. But maybe G'Kar too thought that the woman was right. Londo surely though she was.

He didn't defend himself when she plunged a knife deep into his chest and caused him to fell hard onto the ground.

Awakening on the floor beside his own bed was only a moderate relief. The whole room was spinning madly and it took him entirely too much time to sit upright and disentangle himself from the bedsheets. And the bottle of brivari on the nightstand was completely empty even if he didn't remember drinking it all. Maybe those little creatures commander Ivanova was once telling him about were real after all. What were they called, little buggers? Gremlins?

Londo went gingerly to the bathroom, where he splashed water over his sweaty face. Then he dressed fully, deciding he had had quite enough sleep that night. Especially with dreams like those. Too bad this one wasn't prophetic, it didn't seem like anyone was going to attack him in this manner in any nearby future after all.

It was only 04:00 Earth time, but there were many places on the station that were not sleeping. Or nice, quiet places which were dead asleep, if he wanted one, too. He left his quarters and headed for the Dark Star. Why not, he thought. There were times when it was perfectly normal for him to be there at this time. Why not again?

But somewhere in the middle of his way he turned and went to a quiet place instead, where in a dead end corridor a big window was placed on the ceiling, allowing to watch stars, passing by as station rotated slowly. Londo watched it for a moment, feeling like being dragged underneath and leaving sky high above. As this only irritated him, he made a motion to turn around, only to pause, when he heard footsteps.

'Ambassador' said Lyta Alexander emerging from behind the corner. 'I didn't think I would meet you here.'

'Yes, the universe is full of surprises, as ambassador G'Kar loves to remind me' answered Londo somewhat acerbically. 'He usually adds that it is a wonderful thing but I would not go that far, hm?'

Lyta Alexander looked at him thoughtfully, with slightly narrowed eyes.

'I suppose not' she said noncommittally at least.

'You suppose not... And what are you doing here at this hour, if I may ask?'

'You may, but then I may need to erase your memory.'

Londo heard that phrase in so many jokes, that at first he didn't take her seriously. Only a moment later he registered deadly and empty look in her eyes.

'I will not ask, then 'he said simply.'

Lyta Alexander came closer then and stood beside him in front of the window.

'Do you remember, Ms Alexander, that you once threatened me with a nightmare so deep planted, that I would wake up every night screaming?' Londo said in a conversational voice. To his own surprise he needed to say some things aloud, but preferably not in front of people who were close to him. Not to Vir and also not to G'Kar, that meant.

'I do.'

'I did it myself, quite capably. '

She didn't answer but Londo didn't mind.

'Have you heard of the Valley of the Dead by any chance, Ms Alexander?'

'Only the human one. The Valley of the Shadow of Death, to be precise.'

'Well, we Centauri have one too. It is an old legend, older than the Empire, about the wronged souls crying from the Valley of the Dead for the revenge.' He shook his head. 'Now, Ms Alexander, I must go. I must go before I feel the need to erase your memory, which of course is impossible, just as about everything else these days. Goodbye.'

The next day, when he and Vir were sitting at Zocalo, and Londo was laughing from the bottom of his boots at some recently heard joke, Lyta Alexander, passing by, regarded him with thoughtful expression.

'You are very cheerful, ambassador' she said.

'Yeees, I thought there's no need to broadcast my misery to the entire universe' replied Londo quietly and snappy, irritated that she just reminded him of their nightly conversation. 'I wouldn't stand it being sulky and whining, after all it has the most wonderful way of happily playing with people's lives, yes?'

Ms Alexander didn't answer. She took the chair and sat down at Londo and Vir's table.

'Perhaps I have an offer for you, ambassador.'

Londo could not help, but shudder from sudden memory of Mr Morden offering him his services. Judging from closed and wary expression, so did Vir, even if they both knew that Lyta Alexander was fighting against Shadows. But she was not quite the person she was a year before, everybody noticed that.

'No more deals with the devils!' quipped Vir suddenly. 'No more! Londo, you mustn’t!'

'Deals with the devils, Mr Cotto?' asked Lyta Alexander calmly, as Londo failed to say anything. 'Hardly. Shadows are gone. And as for anything or anybody they've left behind I'm the one equipped with Vorlon knowledge of dealing with them. So why wouldn't you just listen to me and then decide if I'm really the devil?'

'Alright, Ms Alexander' said Londo. 'What it is you wish to discuss?'

'Telepaths' matters of course. In exchange for long–distance ships we could explore new parts of galaxy and share with you our discoveries...'

'Until you find your new world, yes, Ms Alexander? Why are you proposing this to me of all people? Ah, I guess no one from Earth wanted to talk with you. Too scared of your Psi Corp? But I'm afraid that I'm in no position to help you as well. There is no way I could arrange for a ship for you. And I'm not sure if I want to in the first place.'

'Then I will continue my search of opportunity, ambassador. But perhaps you could make me an offer of your own. I promise I will consider it carefully.'

'Yes, I am sure you will. But for now there is nothing I can think of, Ms Alexander.'

Lyta Alexander left, and then, of course, Vir was looking at him quizzically and even with concern.

'Where were we when that insufferable woman interrupted us, eh?' asked Londo loudly. 'I distinctly remember that we were laughing at something terribly funny, weren't we?'

'Oh, yes, yes.' Vir tried to smile, then gave up and looked at Londo seriously. 'I hope she and her telepaths will find some suitable place of their own. You weren't here when Byron died. But I was. Poor Lyta...'

'Poorness doesn't have to do anything with that. Remember, Vir, that in politics we don't get what we deserve, only what is logical consequence of our action.'

'Is it not the same?'

'No, Vir. Ms Alexander and her telepaths might have gained more if they were more subtle and cunning in their dealings. Now, tell me what I have planned for today.'

Vir blinked and answered promptly. Short and to the point for there was nothing planned, or rather each and every thing was canceled. Londo felt somewhat anxious at that. What logical consequences were in this, if any?

 


	2. A Curse Upon Me

 

**2\. A Curse Upon Me**

 

The next dream came this afternoon and felt vaguely prophetic. Once again Londo would give away half his profits for stripping the Centauri race of all precognitive abilities.

'Londo? What is it?' came Vir's anxious question.

Only then Londo was sure he was in his quarters on Babylon 5 and that he just had fallen asleep on the sofa. Vir quietly were doing his reading, not interrupting. A pity, that.

'Nothing, Vir, except it is another time when I would be glad if a dream just stayed a dream. I hate it when they all go and make themselves real, it is usually most inconvenient and disgruntling if you ask me.'

Vir thought about that for a moment, a bit too deeply for Londo's taste.

'You know, I am sure that not all prophetic dreams or visions come true.'

'No, you're right, only the most annoying do. And the most terrifying ones of course.'

'Did you dream about your death?'

'No, Vir, I haven't had that dream for about a year or so now... Strange, but not important. I've dreamt about... well, I'm not sure, in fact. Which is only more irritating. But it was bad and it was on Centauri Prime. That's enough for me to call it a nightmare. It shouldn't have any interest in coming true.'

Vir handed him cup of hot jala, which Londo took with gratitude. He would miss Vir when the time came and he had to become Emperor. He didn't want to. And as a different dream established, he didn't deserve it. But what was most important was that he would take it anyway. Mr Morden words came back to him: you will do it, because you are afraid what someone else would do in your place. It was so true even now, long after Shadows were gone. And someone was doing something wrong right now if the dream was correct.

'Londo, maybe the dreams just want to warn you about something?' said Vir in a bit shy manner. Londo, snapped out of thoughts, looked at him sharply.

Warn of what, that I'm damned? he thought. He didn't say it aloud, but Vir spotted some of it anyway and hurried with explanation.

'I mean, when you know what might happen, you are in better position to avert it.'

'Yeees, only to discover, that I've just done everything in my power to help it come true. Trust me Vir, I know what I'm saying. I and the universe, we have a long history of just that kind of dealings.'

Vir shrugged.

'A prophecy is just a guess that comes true. When it doesn't, it's a metaphor.'

'Yes, yes, you've told me that already.'

'I did?' Vir sounded genuinely surprised.

'Of course, when...' Then it hit him. 'Great Maker, you see?! I've dreamt that you're saying this to me! Here you are, an ultimate proof of dreams coming true!'

'Or about my point being correct.'

'You know, Vir, you've grown entirely too much confident lately. Go trash some stalls and intimidate some Drazi, hm? You can even take my sword again, just go, will you?'

'Fine, Londo, I'll go now, but you'll see that I'm correct. 'Vir stood up, flailing his hands in an exasperated manner. 'Or you won't see, perhaps, if you won't try it yourself...'

Vir left, sighing, and Londo, a tiny bit ashamed, poured himself generous glass of brivari. He drank it all and felt a bit better. Then, of course, some darned minister from homeworld called and ruined the moment forever...

The evening found Londo in Zocalo in the fine company of several colorful Earth drinks.

'I would think you are able to find more creative pastimes, than staring into your drinks, Mollari. For starters, you could actually drink them.'

'Bah! G'Kar! Go away!'

'We, Narns, do not take orders from Centauri, don't you know?' replied G'Kar lightly and ordered a drink for himself.

'Yeees, lucky people, aren't you?'

'You will be soon giving orders all around, Mollari, surely you could appreciate that?'

'There's nothing to appreciate! If I could, I would hop aboard a ship destined to the other side of the galaxy and never back. “Never Back”, isn't that a wonderful name for a ship? I've never had the occasion to name any ship, perhaps I will get to do it once I am the Emperor, hm?'

'And would you really do it?'

'What, name a ship? Certainly!'

G'Kar just raised his eyebrows.

'No' admitted Londo. 'I would not. But aren't dreams nice things? Though only those dreamt when we are not asleep. And even then not all of it. They should be called something else. Leave me to my dreams, alright, G'Kar? After all, there is so few pleasant ones left.'

G'Kar, surprisingly, complied, muttering something about meeting with Lyta Alexander, and left Londo alone for, ah, total fifteen minutes. After that time, Mr Garibaldi showed up.

'Is it some kind of a new custom to try to bother me in those few free moments I have?' asked Londo sourly.

'Heard you've had all day free, ambassador.'

'Yeees, what big news' sneered Londo. 'So what, do you want to correct that overlook?

'How would I dare, when you're so clearly not in the mood?'

'How indeed. Excuse my rudeness, Mr Garibaldi, but what do you want of me?'

'Just to see how you're doing. How's state business, Londo? As an Emperor–soon–to–be you must be buried up to your ears with work?'

'My work is nothing of your concern, Mr Garibaldi, just as all recent Alliance matters are clearly not a business of mine. Also, Mr Garibaldi, I don't like the way you are looking at my drinks.'

Perhaps were he not so irked and put out after the talk with the minister earlier, he wouldn't have said that. Perhaps. Or perhaps he would have said it anyway, because Mr Garibaldi was still his friend.

'I do not understand that comment, Londo' said Mr Garibaldi sternly.

'Aah, Mr Garibaldi you're denying. But you do understand, and so I see I was right. I know it all myself, see, I was denying too, and I've got very angry when someone was voicing out a... well, a different point of view. Poor Vir. But I was more and more ashamed, terrified, it spun out of my control too quickly and yet I couldn't make the effort to stop it. And I've made such a mess, not only of myself, but of many, many more lives too. '

'I never recall you ashamed of drinking, Londo.'

'Drinking? Bah! Who's talking about drinking?! Now, excuse me, I'm very busy. I must go, I’ll be cleaning up my mess for the rest of my life. Goodnight, Mr Garibaldi!'

Vir was waiting for him in his quarters, busy with paperwork like... like a bee, an ant or some other damn Earth creature.

'And what are you doing here at this time, eh?'

'Just finishing some paperwork, after all when you, you know, I will be here, you know, and I'm trying to learn all I can, while you're still here, see?'

'No, I don't, just trying to decipher your babbling is so hard, that I don't have any energy spared for thinking it over. Make me some hot jala while you're here, would you?'

Londo tossed his jacket carelessly on the floor and made himself comfortable on the sofa.

'I was in Zocalo' he informed Vir offhandedly. 'If you want to learn something, perhaps you should start going to places and listening to the people.'

'Did you listen?'

'Actually, I did all my best to not listen, but some voices still got through. Mr Garibaldi tried to sneak out of me some information about our government, I think. They don't trust us. And back home they also don't trust us. Great Maker, I don't even trust myself. It's all shot down to hell, but then again, it's nothing new, all expected.'

'You're sad, Londo?' asked Vir with a whole palette of emotions on his face. He really should learn to conceal them.

'I'm angry.'

'You're not...'

'Excuse me?' 'Londo reached out to take a cup of jala from Vir and stopped with hands in midair.

'Oh, yes, you are, but you think it's nothing to be changed, so it's not that you're just angry, you're resigned...'

'Vir. Stop it. Thank you for the jala. Now you are free to go. Sleep, get rest, for tomorrow will be another difficult day, yes?'

'No. Londo' Vir sat down in the armchair, looking determined and serious, despite looking also quite silly. 'I... well, I just remembered what you told me when I killed Cartagia. You don't have to envy me anything it seems. You have it, have it still or have it again, I don't know. Probably the latter. But you do. And I'm really glad for it. And that's all, goodnight, Londo.'

When Vir left, Londo actually smiled a little.


	3. The Fruit Of Knowledge (Has A Bitter Taste)

 

**3\. The Fruit Of Knowledge (Has A Bitter Taste)**

 

After another talk with one of the ministers Londo felt the need to bang his head onto the wall 'till it made a hole straight into space, even if he knew for long now, that the universe hates him and with a very good reason to do so . The very idea of Sheridan wanting to blame Centauri for the attacks was ridiculous. As for Lennier it was downright crazy. But as it seemed someone else was indeed doing their best to point all traces and circumstantial evidences to Centauri people, innocent and victimized. It was all too easy after all to leave some incriminating objects at the crime scene, just like the minister suggested. Sheridan wouldn't, but other humans would. Lennier wouldn't, but other Minbari  _perhaps_ would. G'Kar wouldn't,  _couldn't_ ever do it, but other Narns? Why not? And Londo personally knew a whole lot of Centauri who, having proper gain in it, would.

Which again put doubts into his mind. Dark, cold doubts, sneaking suspicions and dream–born feelings that the worst possibility is always the correct one. What would hope be for if not for alleviating that cruel reality?

From what source did minister know that Sheridan might want to blame Centauri? Granted, everybody has their spies, but to know something like that? It was too specific to be pure guessing and drawing conclusions. And why humans, with their love for crime stories , didn't seem to take anything in consideration that wasn't, indeed, blaming Centauri?

Londo walked through corridors, silent and deep in his own thoughts. The corridors were relatively empty, which helped him concentrate. Too much perhaps. He didn't notice G'Kar, not until he heard an awfully loud crash and yell, and turned to see G'Kar sitting on some Drazi. Who the Drazi was and why G'Kar had him subdued was a mystery. But there was something in Drazi's eyes that reminded Londo of the Narn women from the nightmare.

He stood still and watched as security came, took the Drazi and talked with G'Kar. Then Zack Allan came to Londo.

'I haven't seen anything' said Londo helplessly, gesturing feebly with empty hands. 'Heard noise, turned around and seen G'Kar sitting on the Drazi.'

'And you didn't know what was going on, ambassador?' asked Mr Allan skeptically. 'Ambassador G'Kar is sure that the Drazi meant to attack you.'

'I said, I don't know anything.'

'Alright' sighed Mr Allan.' Just take care, ambassador.

'Of course...' Londo waved his hand, waiting for Mr Allan to go and G'Kar to come.

'That was a close call, Mollari' announced the Narn reproachfully. 'You've not been paying any attention at all. It seems that you need a bodyguard regardless where you are and for the full twenty four standard hours a day. Or a babysitter perhaps, though maybe Vir Cotto could do that part. Were I not hurrying to my quarters to talk to Ms Alexander, you would be either in Medlab on in the ornate, bombastic, Centauri coffin, decorated with the worst taste the universe had ever seen.'

'Thank you, G'Kar' said Londo simply. 'And thanks Great Maker that this is not a dream.'

'You talk stranger and stranger by days, Mollari. Perhaps you are already fitting yourself to be the properly mad emperor?'

G'Kar's words were light but the expression on his face wasn't. He was concerned. And Londo felt the need to laugh madly, just like the mad emperor in G'Kar's words.

'I had a similar dream' he explained instead. 'Similar, but substantially worse. You understand me, yes?'

'Well, it was just a dream. Unless it wasn't? '

The question ringed loudly and clearly in the quiet corridor, reminding Londo of the dreams during the heart failure.

'I am not sure anymore what is a dream and what isn't. Never wish to be able to see the future, G'Kar, it would make you even crazier than you already are.'

'Oh, but I truly appreciate being crazy. You on the other hand looks like man about to be hanged, and Mr Garibaldi explained hanging human-style to me the other day, so I know what I'm talking about doubly well.'

'Yeees, very messy and undignified death, indeed. Only proper' he added after a moment, half-realizing that he was doing so aloud.

'Proper, you say? Well, that's surely  _something_ coming from you.' G'Kar looked a little alarmed. During their trip to Centauri Prime, G'Kar witnessed quite a variety of Londo's nightmares and Londo found out that disclosing some of the details brought relief, at least for a moment. But direct remarks like that was not the words that Londo felt inclined to say loudly.

'I just wouldn't believe it if it ended happily' said Londo curtly to close the topic. 'Centauri feel such things.'

'Oh, yes. But as you said yourself, it can drive people crazy. And I certainly believe Vir Cotto's right about the whole matter, there's no point in being so fatalistic. Just have the courage to call it guilt, would you, Mollari?'

G'Kar left Londo in the relatively safe area near the Sheridan's office. The Narn hurried on to a meeting with Lyta Alexander, another one, observed Londo automatically, they must be striking a deal. Perhaps she agreed to provide the Vorlon-enhanced telepathic gene to the Narns for some fantastic fortune on her telepaths behalf. G'Kar didn't thus witnessed the strange, uncomfortable embrace Delenn pulled Londo in. It felt like something associated with that ornate Centauri coffin and wasn't comforting or warm at all.  Now Londo felt like a marked target, a dead man, man about to be hanged. And to think he actually, against all odds,  _had_ a small hope for the better future after surviving that infernal heart attack.

The first blow came later that day, when Vir informed him of the council meeting scheduled for the next day. Then tomorrow, evidence after evidence, and then G'Kar coming to take him to the meeting. And the recording, all too real, sweeping away everything he managed to say to defend his people .

Regent's response only ensured Londo that whatever is going on is worse than he suspected. And so, soon after that, Londo was on board of the ship going to Centauri Prime, leaving an anguished, but determined Vir and accompanied by G'Kar. Now they had a long journey ahead, and if Narn's presence would be painful, annoying, comfortable or comforting was still remaining to be seen.

Meanwhile, Lyta Alexander wondered if she really stroked such a good deal with G'Kar. It was too late to negotiate and the payment was generous but still... the uncertainty nagged her quite heavily.

'I happen to have my own condition, however' said G'Kar after revealing that whole spying requisite was just a test of character.

'What is it?' sighed Lyta, beginning to feel tired of this conversation. G'Kar at his most philosophical could have strange effect on people and she had a suspicion that the condition will be less down-to-earth than other parts of the deal.

'Well, Lyta, as became common knowledge, the Vorlons not only expanded your abilities but also endowed you with broad knowledge of all things dangerous, dark, mostly linked with Shadows but not only, as was in case with the whole Thirdspace affair. '

'Yes, that is true' confirmed Lyta eying G'Kar suspiciously. 'But you can forget it if you want me to share that knowledge with you. I will do it only if the danger is imminent, the Vorlons put blockades on most of those things to prevent anyone from going on and finding them to use in the whole arrays of wrong ways. And even without blockades I'm not that naïve as to try and sell it.'

'No, that's quite alright and it proves me right that I can actually trust you. But, and that is my condition, if it so happens that you find out something linked to that matters, anything really that would speak of some Shadow–remnant or other dark influence regarding what is currently going on with the attacks and the Centauri... you will help. You will do everything your Vorlon–power enables you to do. You will go everywhere you may need, Centauri Prime or other worlds, and you will not withdraw until the threat is over. ' G'Kar's voice become deeper, booming, even threatening although the threat wasn't directed at Lyta. Well, not only at her. 'This is only a precaution, as it may not be necessary at all. But since I know you have those abilities I want to make sure they can be used if needed.'

Lyta remained silent for a long moment.

'What will your government say if I refuse to your condition and your condition only?'

'I will tell them that you cannot be trusted. And they will listen to me.'

'Well, I don't doubt that, with you being such a religious icon' retorted Lyta sourly. 'But would you really do that? Would you bereave your race of such a chance? You were bend on acquiring those genes for so long.'

'You see, I really would doubt if you can be trusted. With great power comes great responsibility, Lyta. It's a human phrase after all.'

Lyta regarded him coldly. Everything in her protested loudly at that rebuke. With her great power came great exploit. By others. By everyone around actually.

'I will agree if you raise my payment.'

'Done' G'Kar shamelessly smiled. And so they stroke the deal as Lyta didn't really have the heart to negotiate said raise and the first sum of money mentioned was also the acceptable one.

But now she had a very ugly suspicion that G'Kar knew all too well that something is indeed afoot .

 


	4. My Beautiful City In Flames

 

**4\. My Beautiful City In Flames**

 

The dreams were always highly confusing things. Despite his best intentions, Londo fell asleep after fifteen or so minutes of the flight. G'Kar would probably say that Londo's body was smarter than him and decided to rest while it could. Londo would certainly say that his dreams were smarter than him and thus able to play all the havoc they'd want.

Londo looked out of the palace window and saw rubble and fire instead of what should be a shining, colorful city. His hands were trembling and something heavy lied on his shoulder. Behind him someone stood, someone uninvited, alien, dangerous and hated. Londo forced himself to lower his gaze, to not look at the capital. His hands were clad in white gloves. Emperor gloves.

The scene shifted, he was sitting on the throne, in the dark, completely alone... if not for the same menacing presence as earlier. The palace seemed empty. And Londo couldn't sleep, couldn't rest, all he could do was sit there, transfixed, in some sort of daze. He didn't know why, but he was sure that reality of what was happening was just too cruel to be looked straight upon.

When he awoke, that feeling persisted, forcing him to keep his eyes closed and his mind blank, until he became completely sure that he was on board of the ship, sitting in dubiously comfortable armchair and not on the throne in the deserted palace. Then he carefully willed his eyes open, taking in the artificial lights, the stars against void blackness behind the window, the red fabric of the seats and gray, polished floor. Absorbing all this he calmed and noticed that G'Kar was looking at him questioningly.

'I've dreamt of some... alien... being on Centauri Prime...' Londo finally said, feebly and uncertain.

'Me?' came the rational response in a wonderfully annoying tone.

'No... I regret, but not. Someone evil.'

'Then surely not me. I'm good and I'm almost divine according to all those poor crazies on Babylon 5.'

'Yes, well, most important, you don't know how to be properly and efficiently evil. You never managed it before... before everything, I guess.'

G'Kar sighed and solemnly nodded.

'And I thank universe for that every day. But that doesn't mean that I don't know how to be cunning. Actually I'm even better at being cunning when I'm a better person . What can you tell me of that evil someone?'

'Nothing. I was an Emperor and he was always standing behind me. I wanted nothing more than to get rid of him, but for some reason I couldn't.'

G'Kar looked as if he wanted to give some snide remark, perhaps about high-ranked Centauri's habit of being surrounded by evil ministers and courtiers who are trying to kill you and practically beg to get ridden of. Instead he opted for reasonable and concrete question.

'Shall we then look out for an alien influence while on Centauri Prime?'

'Perhaps... I don't know if we would find anything though.'

'Well, we'll look. And you shouldn't be so sure. The universe is so...'

'...wonderfully full of surprises, yes, I know. And you know I don't share that view, so just let me sleep some more, will you? '

The next dream was most astounding of all the dreams Londo ever had. Nothing in his life felt as confusing as this, even with an excessive help of brivari and a variety of psychoactive ingredients like G'Quan Eth.

'You can officially declare I've gone mad, G'Kar. Do it straight when we land, I wouldn't want to cause any misunderstandings along the way. '

'What happened this time?' G'Kar asked calmly.

'My death dream changed' answered Londo in a wooden voice. But the impact of the news was completely lost on G'Kar.

'Just that?'

'Yes, just that, you stupid creature, just that! And if your long lasting stone-like knowledge of your life was swept away just like that, you would know what I mean!'

'That I know, Mollari, thank you very much' replied G'Kar somewhat indignant. 'Didn't it happen before that someone's death dream changed?'

'Oh yes, technically yes. Not often, really rare in fact, but yes... there were known incidents. Most believe though that it's impossible and they're all faked.'

'Shows what they know' snipped G'Kar disdainfully.

'Great Maker' sighed Londo 'but I  _always_ hoped it is truth, at least for those few chosen people, and who knows, maybe... I hoped, because if dreams and prophecies were one hundred percent true, clear and solid... just imagine how horrid it would be.'

'I don't have to imagine anything. In fact all I need is to look at you and I know it all.'

Londo fell silent at this, slightly taken aback.

'So, what was in your death dream this time?' prompted the Narn gently.

What a relief that G'Kar had already known the original death dream, known from his trip into Londo's mind but also from much later Londo's explanations.

'My death dream was... different. No, not different. Fuzzy. Not so detailed. No, I could only feel that you are there, and Vir, and somehow Sheridan and Delenn weren't there as always. And the time, the time was right. But nothing more. And... I felt Timov there. Never has.'

'That's not that much of a change' said G'Kar skeptically.

'Oh, but it is... Terribly much. See, you didn't kill me there. No one did. And I din't kill you .'

'Good to know!' G'Kar clapped Londo's arm. Then, after a pause: 'As you've perhaps heard, the future is always changing .'

G'Kar again made it sound lightly, but Londo caught the genuine relief in his voice. The same relief, perhaps, that Londo was experiencing just now, because he was sure that the dream was the proper, true, prophetic death dream. Cloudy, changing, uncertain also. Showing him that he doesn't know a damn about future.

Was it a sign that he indeed  _“avoided the fire at the end of his journey”_ ? It would be too much to hope for, surely?

'Do you remember what I've told you about Lady Morella, G'Kar?'

'Yes, she showed uncommon dose of common sense and tried to give you some ways out, which would be beneficial to us all.'

'The eye that not see. I saved you, G'Kar, back then, when Cartagia was on the throne, yes? At least I hope it was what Lady Morella meant. Then it would seem that I did good at the first opportunity. And thus I do not need another one, no? Not to kill one who is already dead... That I can do, I think, but why would I want to kill Sheridan? Unless it's about someone else. I killed Mr Morden after all... He said I will pay for what I did then. Yeees. But I am willing to pay what I'm due if it meant that Centauri is saved.'

'I don't doubt that, Mollari. But there are very different kinds of payment, you know? Besides it's about their revenge, not your destiny or your payment being due. With Mr Morden's final fate, for once it is the thing you've done  _right_ , Mollari! So the second chance has to be something else. And, if even it was that, you did good with the first one, and you still has the third.'

_But I really, really wouldn't want to have to abide by her last warning..._ thought Londo with a sense of dread and flashing memories form heart attack dream.

'You think the first was enough?'

'Well, I don't know about that, really' said G'Kar thoughtfully. 'But then again, surrendering to your fear with a good reason behind it can be a truly changing experience.'

'But I saved you, the eye...' repeated Londo somewhat chaotically. 'And Morden... Great Maker, G'Kar, he promised revenge on  _the Centauri_ . He would want me to be defeated, broken, the Centauri Prime leveled to debris. And that is what might be happening just now. He's shouted something about Shadow's allies. Don't you understand, G'Kar,  _that_ is my greatest fear. The fall of my homeworld, my people... I can't and won't surrender to such a thing!'

G'Kar didn't answer. Londo only after a while realized that this thing, this surrender, G'Kar had already lived through.

 


	5. Sadder Than Owl–Songs

 

**5\. Sadder Than Owl–Songs**

 

Centauri Prime was getting ready for a war. The Regent was unavailable, the ministers enigmatic, swift and as infuriating as ever, and on the top of all that, Londo suddenly found out that Timov were in the Royal Palace. With Urza's children!

'Great Maker, Timov, what are you doing here?' he exclaimed when in private, only with G'Kar, his wife and two small kids standing warily behind Timov.

Timov pursed her lips disapprovingly.

'I have been notified, that you are demanding my presence at your inauguration, Londo. And I am not pleased at the manner the message was delivered. I felt practically threatened to come.'

'You  _felt_ , silly woman?' sneered Londo out of pure dread. Did someone thought that children will make good leverage over him? Did someone already planned how to harm them? 'You  _were_ threatened and I never wanted you here!'

G'Kar sighed at that, and Timov lifted her chin.

'I do not doubt  _that_ ' she said indignantly, folding her hands.' But I was made to come. They have told me about most dire consequences if I wouldn't.'

'Yes, because I am sure you tried to throw them down the stairs and kick out of the door. Poor evil people. But whatever is going on here, you mustn’t stay. And the children, too. Great Maker... come closer, children, don't be afraid. Those are Urza's children?'

'Yes' confirmed Timov and put into that tiny syllabe a world of contempt for Londo. 'Tilio and Gracia.'

The boy, with his father's nose and cheekbones, was approximately nine or ten years old. His sister couldn't be more than four. She was such a sweetheart with honey-colored curly hair and curious gaze. Londo sighed, resigned. He remembered Urza's wedding to his third wife. Those were her children, the other were much older. The poor woman died a few year ago, before the Narn war.

'You must leave the palace, Timov. It is not safe. I'll arrange everything, be ready to go any moment. Do you understand?'

'Of course.'

'Good.'

Timov hesitated. Then she took Londo by the arm and led him to the window, where children and G'Kar couldn't hear them.

'What is going on, Londo?' she asked in much softer tone. 'You appear to be more frightened than I have ever seen you.'

'And that concerns you, because? Do not worry, I will see that you leave the palace unharmed.'

'That is not what I had in mind.' Timov shook her head. 'Do not think I am blind. And I’ve known you much too long.'

'Then what do you want to hear, Timov? Something that will endanger you and children? Even if you think of the court as the most disgusting place in the universe you still knows how it works, yes? How dangerous it is . And now I have a feeling it's doubly dangerous, though I don't know why.'

'Oh, but you know that this is your fault' Timov pointed out flawlessly and cruelly. Much more cruelly as this was not an insult but only an observation. 'Well, perhaps you are not as hopeless as I always thought.'

Londo rolled his eyes.

'Oh, thank you so much, darling.'

Timov didn't reply. Instead, she regarded Londo with cold, assessing look.

'I've always knew that one day you will go too far' she said finally. 'Even for you. It's good to see that it scared you so much.'

Londo looked at her with anger but she was too close to the truth. And she said it like a compliment in fact, the very first compliment she had for him.

'I will come for you later' he said finally, then turned and left, without goodbyes, not seeing apologetic gesture G'Kar made before trailing after him .

He barely made it in time to enable Timov's escape. In the middle of the night Londo found himself in the prison cell alongside G'Kar. The war broken out and, Great Maker, was there any hope left?

'Well, at least one task was fulfilled without much trouble' sighed G'Kar. 'Maybe the universe want to give us some hope .'

Londo gritted his teeth.

'Maybe for you it wasn't much trouble but I had to spend several hours pulling favors and handing out promises. And then I had to climb out of that darned window not only with children but also with Timov, yes? And she is not as light as a woman should be.'

'Nor you are as young as you would like to be, surely.'

Londo sneered.

'Very funny. I should have dropped her squarely on your head then. '

'I would catch her without problems, Mollari. And I want to point out that for all your pouting you really liked how the children weren't afraid of you. Especially the girl. She made even you look adorable when you held her.'

'Do not tell any more, I beg you, G'Kar' said Londo in wooden voice. 'I need to spent the next hour trying to bleach from my mind the fact that you have called me  _adorable_ .'

'It was a compliment for her. You must be really confused by the whole commotion to think anything else.'

Londo sighed and looked upward effectively ending the conversation. Next hour indeed passed silently. The walls of the prison were green with mold. Lying on the wooden, most uncomfortable bench, he tried to avoid persistent gazes that some mushily looking form of life was happily sending him from a corner. And, Great Maker, how long were they supposed to stay here?

'I must say that I enjoyed meeting your wife, as much as I wish for the circumstances to be different' said G'Kar at least.

'Enjoyed? How did you managed to confuse her with Mariel, then?'

'Oh' G'Kar huffed indignantly but has the decency to avoid Londo's gaze for a while. 'What, Mollari, as if you really care?'

'I don't. Just so you know, that wasn't such a big secret.'

'And it didn't have to be. After all there was nothing out of character for me or for her.'

'No, there wasn't. I'm glad I've got rid of her. And of Daggair. But of course I would welcome them back if I could exchange them for getting rid of my real problems.'

'And Timov? She is uncharacteristically out of place compared to your people. I find it most curious.'

'Timov is not really noblewoman. Nor did she grew up in the Royal Court. I married her because my family needed money. After all it is one of the Centauri tradition, yes? You marry for money, position and influence, and for all of it if possible.'

'I imagine how disillusioning it was for her to get you .'

'Not more than for me to get her' retorted Londo bitterly. 'She was the bane of my existence from the very beginning, Miss Scold and Chastise. Though she was good at keeping the household and managing finances, being daughter of merchant and all. She always said that she would prefer to be a man and live on her own.'

'Very sensible. Our women must be just as strong as men. I am sure I do not need to explain why.'

'We had some independent and culture-breaking women as well, you know?' Londo decided to concentrate on the less dangerous topic. 'Shuharana, the great-daughter of Emperor Tuscan, she was a teenager when she tried to seize the throne only for herself. She deemed her brothers to be useless idiots and set up to do what needed to be done. And for the few years she really reigned the Republic. I would quite enjoy seeing it, I imagine her as scrawny teenager, bratty half–pint, scolding all the snobbish ministers and courtiers alike. She is portrayed as someone who really could get the things done. I truly envy her that, especially now.'

At that the dialogue ended. Time in here was passing awfully slow. Three days were more like three years. Even dreams seemed to not like the place and stayed out of there. No nightmares to remind him of a prophesized fire, of darkness and evilness without a chance for terrifying redemption. Londo felt that their absence improved his mood and enabled him to be more eager and hopeful. Hopeful to actually do something. But no, they were in prison and there was nothing he could manage from there, except thinking what to do when he'll be free.

When another horrible dream finally happened, Londo awoke screaming and flailing his arms around. Nightmare, right. He was in a cell, G'Kar was there, nothing really happened. But then again, he would swear this was real. And all his senses screamed at him that he had a lot to do, and very, very little time for it. It was time to break free,  _now_ .


	6. Something Is Rotten In The Centauri Republic

 

**6\. Something Is Rotten In The Centauri Republic**

 

Lyta Alexander was perpetually angry as of late. She stopped even thinking about it, just utilized it to further her goal, to get the telepaths' cause going.  When Vir asked her and Franklin for help, she saw it primarily as an opportunity to build up her resources a little. Surely Centauri could pay as much as she wanted or go without her. 

Now, however, she found that blasted Shadow devices. She was so angry that she just wanted to kill all and every damned Drazi on the planet. It meant that she would have to really help someone who didn't even deserve it in the first place. Help fight the war started by older races. Get used, that is, for whatever greater good might tag along . Again.

First thing they did was to notify Sheridan. They took one of the wretched things and returned on Babylon 5, as quick as they got.

'It makes no sense' Sheridan was repeating himself over and over. They assembled something of a war council again, oh how Lyta hated it already. Sheridan, Lochley, Garibaldi, Franklin and her. And she was just about to do everything to save the day. Again.

What made no sense was Centauri tactic or possible lack of thereof. Of course.

'If those devices are for controlling ships maybe there is not much Centauri officials who are in it' suggested Garibaldi.

'And maybe they're not Centauri at all, after all 'Lyta threw in, just because she was feeling it was kind of unjust to not mention that possibility. That was G'Kar’s influence, no doubt. And she liked the confused look of everybody as well.

'Those devices aren't on the market just like that, available for anyone who pays' she explained. 'They must have come from the source close to Shadows. There were too many to assume otherwise, don't you think you would hear about them already, if they were circulating between younger races? I think the Shadows' servants have their hand in it. Vorlons left me some of their knowledge of them.'

Thought of Vorlons brought to her mind Kosh's words and feelings, his concern for welfare of younger races. Lyta didn't think much of Vorlons now, but Kosh she still loved.

'And what can you tell us about them?' Sheridan decided to play along. 'Vorlons left you their knowledge, so?'

'They are of many races. Streibs, Wurt, Soldiers of Darkness... And the Drakh, who are the most... intelligent ones. The ones with agenda. Others are more like servants or scientists, but the Drakh know politics. They are the most likely ones to organize others into some forces, devise the plan and act.'

'What would they want?' interrupted Garibaldi, getting to the matter of things and planning what to do himself.

Lyta smiled bitterly.

'What indeed? Home, of course. And revenge.'

'Delenn told me she had an encounter with them last year' remembered Sheridan. 'Indeed they seemed to look for home. But by far by no innocent means.'

But of course . What did they expect from the most important Shadows' servants? 

'The Drakh are able to partially control others by some sort of symbionts. They have somewhat telepathic connection to them.'

'Symbionts?' Franklin looked at her, alert. 'Like the one on Mars, perhaps. Captain Jack had some symbiont attached to his shoulder. I was able to examine its part, it made Captain Jack betray us...'

Lyta just nodded.

'Shadows were helping president Clark, it's only expected their servants may have some influence there.' Sheridan sighed. 'But now, with Shadows gone and the Drakh on rampant, who else on Earth might be controlled?'

'I suggest we speak to president Luchenko, sir' said Lochley. 'She should be warned and she might give us some information.'

'Right. Lyta, is there something else you want to tell us?'

'No. '

'Then we'll try to contact Earth. I'll let you know when we have spoken with the president. Perhaps it's not too late to discover the Drakh's input in recent happenings and more.'

They dispersed. Lyta, sighing inwardly, but too tired to be seething angry, went straight to the docking bay, where she made some men give her a small ship, and coerced a pilot to get her to Centauri Prime. Poor man was quite frightened by her display of telekinesis and a promise as to what exactly would happen if he didn't take her where she wanted. With small ship it was even a longer trip than usual and she really needed to get there fast. She preferred to help G'Kar than those Interstellar Alliance buffoons. Damn G'Kar to be so perceptive and foreseeing in their agreement, damn Vorlons for giving her all that knowledge, damn Centauri for just going there and being stupid and not entirely innocent victims, and damn, really damn the Drakh for trying to play big bad ones and driving her off her goals. Though, when all was said and done, she supposed she felt somewhat sympathetic for them as her fellows in being dumped and homeless after trusting and serving the blasted older races .


	7. When The Stars Threw Down Their Spears

 

**7\. When The Stars Threw Down Their Spears**

 

Meanwhile, G'Kar, sitting at Londo's uncomfortable prison bench, was writing new passages of his book and contemplating possible actions and outcomes . Not that he didn't think that Londo was doing his best, but Mollari indeed was uncharacteristically lost and frightened, even for him. G'Kar though had profound faith in the universe and its ability to show proper ways to those who can observe.

And so it happened that such an earlier observation came to fruition. The cell door squeaked, producing most irritating noise and then a guard with a foolishly incoherent gaze let Lyta Alexander inside .

'Hello, G'Kar.'

'Lyta Alexander!' exclaimed G'Kar. 'What a joy to see you here. You are just the person I needed most!'

Lyta waited until the annoying noise of closing doors passed.

'Yes, I've heard that before, G'Kar. Usually before being tasked with defeating ancient enemy ships, rescuing somebody or helping to bring totalitarian government down . Never heard it without those extraordinarily circumstances and so forgive me, G'Kar, if I'm a bit skeptical.'

'I can only say that I would be most grateful for helping me and people I care about' retorted G'Kar seriously. 'And that my gratitude will have more substantial aspects to it as we had discussed previously.'

'Which is why I agreed' said Lyta coldly. 'What is that atrocious smell, by the way?'

'Oh, I merely helped Londo to get out of here while saving face.' G'Kar giggled happily at the memory of Londo's protests and following panic. I trust you didn't have any troubles getting here?'

Lyta smirked.

'Actually everybody was getting out of their skins to be as helpful to me as possible. Pity it wouldn't last. They would also swear on their souls that they never saw anybody around.'

'Very well. Then I would ask you now to utilize this skills to follow Londo around. And scan people who he talks with.'

'You want me to just go out there and scan everybody? You know, I might have retained some moral principles despite everything . I trust it's not another of your tests.'

'No. Oh, I know that scanning everybody will result in scanning innocent ones... Except I also believe that no one here is innocent . We're at Centauri Royal Court, Lyta, surely you understand what a place that is. We need to know as much as possible or consequences would be most unpleasant. Especially that from your presence here I gather you've discovered something or someone linked with Shadows.'

'We found Shadow devices for controlling ships' admitted Lyta. 'The attacking Centauri ships didn't have real crew, only those. We suspect that races once serving Shadows may try to take over the Centauri.'

'Well, that would mean that Mollari's dreams are actually smarter than him, however he hates them. We kind of suspected as much, but weren't able to specify the details. The more reason for you to look around. I know very well this is dangerous, but...'

'Spare me it, G'Kar, would you?' snapped Lyta folding her arms. 'You're paying me for that, and it's all the reason needed. Though I have a feeling I should demand that you double my salary while I still can.'

'If you save Londo Mollari and Centauri Prime from whatever is going on, I will double it' promised G'Kar solemnly. 'From my personal account if needed. Or I'll work for you even.'

Lyta gave him a thoughtful look.

'Well, then. I'm going. And I'm gonna enjoy finding some Shadow's ass-kissers and hurt them.'

'Be careful, Lyta. Don't alarm them too early.'

But Lyta just shrugged and turned towards the doors. The guard opened it immediately.

G'Kar sighed. If only Lyta would have an opportunity to experience the kind of revelation he had... One day her anger was going to consume her whole and there will be no walking back .

As it happened, Lyta didn't have much need to search. She walked silently through corridors, broadcasting general telepathic signal making people not notice her. It was quite amazing what she discovered she could do when she finally started to check what exactly Vorlons had done to her. Sometimes she was even a bit grateful, until she remembered that if not for the stupid Vorlon-Shadow war, all of this wouldn't be necessary and telepathy would be just a fictional device made up to create interesting books and films. Well, the reality was not perfect, of course.

Following G'Kar's guidelines, she found Londo's personal quarters. She stopped, put her hand on the door and listened. For now without telepathy. She was able to discern two voices, one of them Londo's. The other one, silly-sounding and trembling belonged to the Regent as she heard Londo addressing the man like that.

Lyta was listening with quite much dread what the Regent was telling Londo. She somehow felt the ominous Drakh presence even earlier and that kept her from walking into the room. Instead, she built proper barriers in her mind to prevent being discovered.  It was a strange thing, she simultaneously felt the Drakh inside the room and didn't, as if he were in two places at the same time. She barely heard what was spoken, about war, attack, Narn and Drazi fleet just appearing to attack defenseless Centauri Prime. So it seemed that Sheridan didn't manage to restrain his blood-thriving allies and for all Lyta knew the palace was to be bombed in any moment with all of them inside. Oh, if it were the perfect universe, the Drakh would be killed first. 

She was nearly pushed into the wall by Londo, when he run to stop what was unstoppable. She followed him, as much to guard him as she agreed upon, as to put some distance between herself and the Drakh. Thank heavens, it was only one Drakh she felt so long and he most probably didn't notice her. Lyta wasn't certain if she'd be able to scan one without being spotted by the other one due to their connection and scanning even one was extremely risky. And to top it all Vorlons didn't really know how strong a connection Drakh had between them, or any other details, just a few bits of general knowledge. She would have to risk, but, after all, she supposed she could just kill the creature if necessary...

When Londo get out of prison the first thing he did was to talk to ministers. Vainly. The “Prime Minister” and “Future Emperor” titles just became jokes. In short, Londo didn't know what to do. At least when Cartagia was to be removed the plan was clear. Yes, difficult, very, but clear. Now Londo had some dreams, some intuitions, some scrambled words and no plan at all. It wasn't like him.

When he entered his room and saw the Regent waiting for him, he actually felt a tinge of hope. He talked to the Regent, feeling the odd mixture of protectiveness and sadness, but the man couldn't seem to be able to speak coherent at all. What parts were clear in Regent's talk weren't assuring at all. What was not clear was screaming of troubles. And the Regent seemed so fragile that Londo barely dared to inquire.

'What did  _they_ told you to do?'

'To send away all ships guarding Centauri Prime on a false emergency and turn off the planetary defense network.'

Upon hearing this, Londo dashed madly in hope to do something, anything.

Outside the palace the screams were heard and first missiles fell on capital city...

 


	8. Did He Fear His Work To See?

 

**8\. Did He Fear His Work To See?**

 

Seeing he won't be able to make it in time, Londo turned abruptly and run to the cells. If he couldn't save Centauri Prime from a Narn and Drazi assault, he would at least save that one Narn who was almost as important to him as the homeworld . Not that Londo Mollari would admit it to anyone, of course. 

They made it to Londo's quarters , though only Great Maker knew if it really was a safer place. Then Londo left, sent a doctor to G'Kar, and went to the throne room to find the Regent in hope of talking some sense into him... A futile hope, but the only one he's got. G'Kar told him of very possible alien influence on Centauri Prime. As if Londo didn't know. He knew, most painfully he knew, he remembered all those ominous dreams and he remembered Morden's promise of revenge. And here it was. And all of it being his, Londo's, fault. The least he could do was to minimize the damage, as usually these days.

When he found the Regent and the Drakh with him, minimizing the damage reached a whole new level of meaning. And of horror.

Fusion bombs all over Centauri Prime. No good deed ever goes unpunished, just as humans say. To get rid of Drakh would mean get rid of those bombs first. But getting rid of them meant telling somebody, and if he did, the Drakh would find out and detonate them first. Oh, if it were only a bluff! But it weren't, Londo was too old of a gambler to doubt it. And even if it was a possibility, the  _possibility_ alone wasn't enough to risk such damage.

_“I am Centauri, and I am not afraid”_ echoed in Londo's mind when he walked to say goodbye to G'Kar. And at least the mysteries ended, the unnamed dread ended, all was clear and sharp, and oh-so-painful, but he knew what to do. He hated it, but hadn't he expected it anyway? He once told Zack Allan about Emperor Mollari the First.  _He too ended badly._ But maybe this time his bad end would at least be good for his people.

It would be nice, wouldn't it? But right now the only good thing in the whole deal was for his people to not die in nuclear detonation. Very much and very little, depending on how one looked at it. The proud Centauri effectively were slaves now. Londo stopped before G'Kar's door.  _Now I know what it feels like, G'Kar. Only I cannot tell anyone._ G'Kar once told him how his people asked him to remain on Babylon 5...  _Is something more important than the safety of your families? Yes, their freedom._ Londo felt dull, bottomless horror at the thought how tempting this was. To tell G'Kar, tell Sheridan, tell everybody, to hell with fusion bombs, better to die than to live with this abomination. But, of course, he couldn't do it. He took a few mind-cleansing breaths, carefully arranged expression on his face and entered his quarters.

'G'Kar...'

'Mollari? What happened?'

Londo heard true concern in Narn's voice despite the fact that G'Kar cringed in pain when he tried to stand up. Damn it, Great Maker, it was going to be difficult . 

'It is all under control now, G'Kar. The Regent is dead. It was his responsibility... so now the war is over. Sheridan is here too, he stopped the Narn, Drazi and Brakiri who were attacking. And... I'm to be the Emperor. Now. The Centauri need a leader.'

'Of course.' G'Kar was looking at him with sad, empathic eyes, and the more friendly they were, the more Londo knew he had to drive G'Kar away.

'The war is over, but it is not the end. My people has... every right to feel resentment towards Narns, Brakiri and Drazis. I must... demand... that you leave. Immediately. Leave Centauri Prime, G'Kar, and do not return.'

'Is that what you want, Mollari?'

Damn that Narn!

'Yes! Yes, that is exactly what I want! Leave!'

'Very well' said G'Kar finally, after long silence and uncomfortable stare directed at Londo. 'I will leave.'

'Good. Now I must leave you. I have much work to do. Sometimes you may hear... well, whatever. You know very well that in politics one has always too few choices, yes? And I... I think I have none. When we first met, I had no power but all the choices I could ever want. Now I have all the power I could ever want, but no choices at all .'

'Mollari. Thank you for saving my life. For risking yours' said G'Kar just as Londo turned to leave. It sounded as if he didn't want to end this conversation on the bad note. Londo appreciated that.

'Well, what, you would have done the same.'

'Yes, but I'm a better person .'

'Oh, you ingrate!' Londo laughed despite everything, it felt so unbelievably wonderful to hear G'Kar insulting him as usual. As if nothing had happened. G'Kar laughed too. Then Londo left. As far as last words and goodbyes went, this ones were his favorite ever .

G'Kar wasn't the one to argue with Mollari on the matter of choices and politics right now, but he certainly didn't plan to sit on his butt and do nothing. He had his choices in a very good condition and readily available, and perhaps he could share some of them with Mollari. After all he never signed anything that would compel him to believe in every dream and vision that just happened to tag along. So the first thing he was going to do after Mollari left was to find Lyta. Happily his wounds were rather superficial and being Narn went along with quite a stamina.

He didn't even need to put much effort into it as Lyta waited right outside Mollari's chambers and was going to enter, so they almost collided in the doorway.

'Listen, G'kar, there's no time' she whispered. 'The Drakh are here, they planted fusion bombs all over Centauri Prime, so Londo is effectively their hostage. He's about to receive a Keeper. I wanted you to know this first, because now I'm gonna go and do something really stupid, which would be scanning a Drakh for bomb's locations and all other information I may find useful. But those are the Drakh, they were trained by Shadows, and while I really want to do something truly atrocious to them I do not know if I'll be able to. So if I'm down, you're on your own. Wish me good luck.'

And Lyta left with silver gleaming in her eyes. If she were to succeed, G'Kar thought, he would probably owe her whole solar system just for her telepaths to inhabit.


	9. And All My Dreams Torn Asunder

 

**9\. And All My Dreams Torn Asunder**

 

This time Lyta, employing full telepathic blockades and screens, dared to go a little further, watching from behind a thick curtain . Londo obediently took off his jacket, vest and foulard, preparing to receive a Keeper. Disgusting little creature, just like Drakh were disgusting, and Shadows as well. And, after a fashion, Vorlons, so manipulative and ruthless. Lyta forced herself to calm down and concentrate. She felt true pity for Londo Mollari now, but also grim admiration at his willing sacrifice. Yet on the same time she couldn't forget his involvement with Shadows, his action in the war, and how much blood he had on his hands. 

And then she hesitated. Shouldn't she allow him to... repay for all he did? For all practical purposes, he was in the same position as Psi Corp: he used what came from older races to build a position for himself, hurting in the process everybody who stood in the way.

But then she saw how Keeper imbedded itself into Londo's shoulder and she remembered Londo's words about nightmare so deeply planted that he wakes up every night screaming, and G'Kar's look of determination when he asked her to help Londo. G'Kar agreed on everything she demanded because he cared for Londo as much as she cared for her fellow telepaths. Not to mention that unlike PsiCorp, Londo Mollari was actually remorseful about what he did.

Lyta took a deep breath, gathered all her strength, and dove into Drakh's mind.

When G'Kar found her later, she would kill him for all the things he made her do voluntarily, caring or not caring. But after almost crawling away from throne room while still keeping her barriers up, she didn't even have enough strength for staying upright and awake .

Londo, meanwhile, feeling acutely the disgusting presence of a Keeper on his shoulder, was busy cleaning as much of the mess as could be cleaned. He issued official surrender, blamed everything on Regent, ordered to find and rescue Delenn's ship, and severed any ties Centauri had with Alliance. After all this, he felt he really deserved that rock thrown by a little girl, which hit him so accurately. He even felt a bit better after that, when physical pain distracted him for a moment. The girl run away, but Londo intended to find her and help her if possible. After all, little girls with such a spirit didn't show up often and certainly not in the Centauri society .

Then the night came and he mildly wondered what nightmare would he dream. All horrible dreams fulfilled themselves already, there was nothing left, except the death dream which seemed less and less like a nightmare, no matter in which version. So perhaps it would be very fitting to lay awake all night, as he couldn't think of anything worse anyway. Cool linens and laces engulfed him when he laid down, what a contrast with the gristly Keeper. He traced the elaborate lace with his fingers, trying to concentrate just at this one physical sensation. Yet the memories flooded his mind, making him endure the fall of Centauri Prime all over again.

Vir came earlier that day for inauguration and even that encounter was filled with fear and dread. Vir, so happy, so innocent, not knowing about anything... And it had to stay that way. Vir had to return to Babylon 5 as soon as possible. G'Kar was leaving in the morning, hah,  _mourning_ rather. So were Sheridan and Delenn. And then no one will be left. So far, so good...

In Londo's old quarters, occupied now by G'Kar, three people talked with hushed voices almost through the whole night. G'Kar was seated on the floor with his legs crossed, Lyta, still pale, was half-lying on Londo's old fancy bed and Vir, distressed and nervous, sat fidgeting in the chair, wanting to grab one of the big pillows from the bed and hug it firmly . Dimmed light of one small lamp brought up the shadows from broken furniture and pieces of glass.

'You  _owe_ me, G'Kar, do not forget that' said Lyta, massaging her temples. 'And do not try any slogans about 'doing the right thing' with me.'

'Wouldn't think of that' G'Kar almost giggled, which mortified Vir even further. 'You, Lyta, earned everything I've promised you and more. You're sure the Drakh didn't feel you scanning?'

Lyta glared at him.

'All right then. Vir will tell Sheridan and Delenn. We'll stay here, hidden, to monitor situation closely. I'm sure the Rangers would be able to come up with the ways of contacting us, and we will find the ways as well if needed. Remember, Vir, the fusion bombs are our priority and secret number one. Tell only Sheridan and Delenn.'

'I know' mumbled Vir, shaking his head. 'I'm not as incompetent as everybody think. And, you know, I got promoted' he added with sad smile.

'All right. Lyta will send you telepathically a list of places. This way she can made you remember correctly and you won't have to record it anywhere. I'm still amazed that the  _Drakh_ actually remembered this and was sure he remembered it correctly!'

'They had their minds... improved by the Shadows' said Lyta with a grimace as if the thought made her ill.

'Lyta' said G'Kar in much lower voice. 'I am sorry that you had to go through that.'

'I've been through worse. And I  _will_ be.'

'That is not the point. But I am grateful. I will pay you all the money, but I will always be grateful.'

'Me too, Lyta' piped up Vir. 'To you and to G'Kar. As will be Londo, when he learns of this. If I can help you with something, Lyta, you only have to ask... Presuming it won't be something...  _bad_ , of course.'

Vir was looking at Lyta and so he missed the look G'Kar gave him, a mixture of amusement and tenderness . Lyta sighed.

'Alright, thank you. I may do just that. Then we will see. Right now I'll be just repeating to myself how much satisfaction it gives me to kick the Drakh in their collective butt. I'm not sure if staying here is the wisest idea possible, G'Kar.'

'Well, someone must stay and watch the things up close. I will stay anyway, and you, Lyta, will be immensely of help. Who knows what those Drakh may come up with yet and what craziness will befall upon Londo. He may even go ahead and try to get rid of them himself, then fail and be killed along with billions of Centauri. And us, by the way.'

'How cheerful...' sighed Lyta, apparently convinced. 'If it's all, I would like to sleep through that, what, two or three hours left.'

She slid under the covers. G'Kar started to meditate and Vir just sat there, keeping watch.

 


	10. Out Flew The Web And Floated Wide

 

**10\. Out Flew The Web And Floated Wide**

 

A month has passed during which Lyta and G'Kar were lurking around the capital city in telepathic guise of two ordinary citizens. Rangers, with help of Vir and some carefully selected Centauri, were concurrently doing everything in their power to disable the fusion bombs and G'Kar was fishing for any palace gossips he could.

'You are even more worried for him than if you two were married' teased Lyta.

'According to some we are' sighed G'Kar. 'But perhaps I shall have a little faith in Mollari after all. If there is some virtue in him I could be sure of, it's the devotion to his people. He really will agree to do anything necessary for them.'

'As you would do for the Narns.' Lyta shrugged. 'I don't think it absolves him from everything he did.'

'No, it doesn't. But lack of absolution in turn doesn't mean that I can't help him .' G'Kar smiled. 'And somehow I think he would return the favor if needed.'

The very next day G'Kar was caught by the city guards. He and Lyta had to be simultaneously at two different spots meeting with Rangers and somehow, upon returning, G'Kar was spotted, captured and brought before the Emperor. As it showed, cloaks with hoods weren't nearly as good as telepathic guises provided by Vorlon ward.

Mollari, while clad in immaculately white clothes and sitting on a pompous Centauri throne, didn't look as a proper emperor. No pride was left, only heavy burden and slumped shoulders upon which it lied.

'G'Kar... why? Why have you come?' asked Mollari in a hoarse voice.

That was an excellent question by itself and G'Kar still didn't come up with a good answer suitable to be given in public.  At last he tried something both a bit offensive and a bit rational.

'Well, the Alliance send me incognito to observe how things are going on here. I must say that your guards are becoming more and more competent as of lately, they managed to capture me before I had time to find something interesting.'

'Is that so, G'Kar?' asked Mollari with a tired voice, then paused as if listening to something, someone. A look of utter horror passed through his face for a millisecond, complete with shaking his head. Then a flick of pain and involuntarily gesture to his shoulder, where G'Kar supposed the Keeper was hidden. Disgusting little creature, just like Lyta said. And even more so as G'Kar was all too easily able to guess what his order was.

Mollari looked at guards.

'Leave us. Now.'

When the guards reluctantly left, Mollari stood up and came closer to G'Kar.

'It doesn't make sense, you know. The dream... '

G'Kar almost rolled his eyes.

'The dream is just a dream, and so are prophecies . You are ordered to kill me, right?'

Mollari's eyes widened and he paled to the true white whiteness of artificial light with all wavelengths balanced . He even took a step back. Have it been under different circumstances, G'Kar would be doing his best now to be impossibly smug.

'Yes, I know. Your, ah, companion may show himself as well. The Drakh, isn't it? Nasty creature.'

Said nasty creature emerged from shadow, wearing a little, ironic smile.

'So you discovered the truth, G'Kar' he said in an elegant, raspy voice. Now the Narn and the Drakh stood eye to eye, with Mollari in between. The Emperor was looking ready to drop dead after this last turn of conversation.

'Yes, I did.'

'All the more reason to have you killed now. We could not risk you exposing our presence here to anyone. If we learn that you already did, the consequence will be most dire. And... I think that it will be only fair to have Mollari kill you personally. Not necessarily by choking' the Drakh chuckled unpleasantly. 'I suppose you know what would happen if Mollari refuses, do you, G'Kar?'

'Yes' sighed the Narn.

'There you are' said Drakh almost cheerfully. 'All in good self-defense. Mollari' he handed to the Emperor a Centauri-made PPG. Mollari accepted it with shaking hands. But when he finally looked at G'Kar there was no hesitation in his eyes. No words were really needed. Mollari raised a gun, aimed carefully, completely sure that G'Kar understood why he had to do it. G'Kar in turn, until then, made a very convincing show of agreeing. In the very last second he bolted forward, hit Mollari's hand and snatched the weapon. Almost without aiming, he shot at the Drakh, who tumbled backward, hurt, yet very much alive.

'No!' shouted Mollari. 'He'll kill them all!'

G'Kar felt a forceful push, an invisible strength was pinning him down till he was laying flat on the floor. He still could observe everything, Mollari's shocked face, menacingly glowing eyes of the Drakh and of course a little detonator in his hand.

'No!' begged Mollari. 'Don't! I'll kill him, right now, but don't!'

Well, if it would come to that, then G'Kar would have to spill the secret, but for now he still was counting on some surprise-born advantage. And, of course, that the Rangers who were meeting with Lyta also confirmed that the last bombs  _were indeed_ rendered useless. They practically had the job done and were planning a little Drakh-exposing in the very next days. But not yet. Well, but if this was the way it was supposed to be...

'You had your chance' said Drakh coldly. 'Now I'll detonate just one fourth of the bombs. The rest is still an open possibility.'

'NO!!!' shouted Mollari and lunged forward but too late. The Drakh activated the detonator.

Nothing happened. Mollari stood there resigned, clearly thinking that it just happened on the far side of the planet. But the Drakh knew that something was very wrong and his befuddled expression was immensely satisfying. Then the force pinning G'Kar to the floor disappeared and the Narn didn't wait for an explanation. The PPG was still on the floor and the Drakh wasn't moving. That just made him an excellent target.

'Enough, G'Kar' he heard after a while. 'He is dead. Truly.'

It was a female voice, and then he heard clacking of heels. He turned to see Lyta, who was smirking with satisfaction.

'What would you do without me' she sighed. 'Pinned to the floor and ready to slaughter .'

'You immobilized the Drakh?'

'Yes, and at the same time made him feel terrible pain. There are no more Drakh here now, but they had big plans and it's better if I go and tell Sheridan immediately. After that it's his trouble not mine. The Rangers will take me to him.'

'Lyta...' said Mollari with a feeble, barely audible voice. 'Thank you...'

Lyta actually smiled and left without a word. G'Kar looked at Mollari, who was also smiling albeit a bit incoherently. The remains of Keeper were lying on the floor and a few spots of blood marked white imperial uniform on the shoulder. Then Mollari staggered and fell, but G'Kar have already managed to catch him .


	11. The Only Cure For Grief

 

**11\. The Only Cure For Grief**

 

When Londo started to wake up he tried to prolong the moment infinitely. The dream he had was just too precious to give up yet. Why, removing bombs, killing the blasted Drakh, getting rid of the Keeper, it didn't happen every night. So he didn't give a damn about any imperial duties he had to perform, he was going to enjoy this as long as he could.

'Mollari?' he heard annoyingly familiar voice. Good. The dream was returning. And the voice repeated his name. Great Maker, but he was more and more awake with every second, he felt the soft covers, the laced pillows, the silky material of his nightshirt. He could not get back to sleep.

'Oh, but I'm still asleep' he announced in utter disbelief when he opened his eyes and saw G'Kar sitting next to his bed. Or perhaps this was some elaborate plot involving an impostor? Or, of course, he could finally just had snapped and get mad, which was only fitting for an Emperor.

'Oh, no, you're not' huffed G'Kar, clearly irritated. 'And you're going to pay me for everything I went through when your guards found me with you unconscious and covered with blood.'

'Oh?' managed Londo, no longer knowing what was going on.

'Don't you remember anything?' asked G'Kar after few second of silence.

'Well, I'm not sure. What of it was in the dream?'

'For me, nothing, I haven't slept for almost three days, unlike you. You fainted when the Drakh and the Keeper died. And you thanked Lyta Alexander but not me. After all things I did for you and who is an ingrate now?'

'So it's true?...' whispered Londo disbelievingly.

'Yes.'

'But... the bombs, how many...'

'None' G'Kar cut in. 'You may relax. No bomb was detonated.'

'Ah, that seals it, I'm still dreaming.'

'No, you're not. You are in for many years of hard work on rebuilding both Centauri Prime and its relations with other races including Narn. Though now when Sheridan called back the retribution and bounded Drazi, Brakiri and Narn to help rebuild your cities it will be a bit easier perhaps. With cities, not relations. Also I would imagine a nice reward for Lyta Alexander would be in order. We wouldn't manage anything without her. I'm already paying her astronomical sums, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. She lived long enough on satisfaction only and it is not good for health .'

'Could you perhaps start from the beginning, G'Kar? Surely your overwhelming joy at having conversation with me didn't robe you of your usual eloquence and clarity, no?'

G'Kar sighed.

'As you wish, Mollari. And if doctor Franklin kills me for not telling him you're awake, it will be only your fault. Just don't fall asleep, alright, Mollari?'

The tale wasn't very long. Londo didn't interrupt, in fact he absorbed it with his eyes wide open and mouth slightly agape, doing very accurate impersonation of a fascinated four years old child listening about battles and heroes .

'Oh, Great Maker, G'Kar. I...  _thank you_ .'

At a loss as to what say next, he simply reached to G'Kar with his hand. The Narn took it, and the feel of the warm, rough leather helped to convince him further that this is really happening. After a month with the Drakh nothing seemed believable.

'I simply saw fit to give you back some choices' said G'Kar lightly as if it wasn't anything too hard or special.

'I still find it hard to believe, you know? I dreamt... I  _knew_ that...'

'Well, maybe  _you_ knew, but  _I_ knew something different. If you believe in nonsense then it's really not my fault that you're disappointed by a happy reality, Mollari.'

'Bah! It's  _not_ nonsense! We, Centauri, have an ability of precognition and...'

'Stop, Mollari' G'Kar put an arm on his good shoulder and pushed him back onto pillow. 'Don't shout or I'll get thrown out. By the way, doctor Franklin said that you are one hundred percent Keeper-free. He was also very excited at the prospect of having the dead thing to dissect, it was kind of unsettling, and the greedy glow in his eyes... But to the point, what exactly did you know? The death dream? You said yourself it's changing.'

'It really didn't as much change as became completely fuzzy and unclear. I dreamt it a few times since... since becoming the Emperor, and it was never the same one. Sometimes it was the old dream and we were killing each other. Sometimes not. As if it couldn't make its mind.'

'So you see. So much for death dreams. Though I must admit they are somewhat like a terrible curse. Anything else?'

'Of course, I...' Londo trailed, uncertain, because he didn't really want to say aloud what he just thought. Even to G'Kar. 'It just... wasn't supposed to be like that' he finished, a bit lamely. 'I wanted...' He sighed.  _I wanted to atone for what I did and the Drakh were my punishment, do not take that away!_ Bah, and what else! No way he was going to say that to anyone. It was nonsense anyway, he was obviously shocked and not thinking clearly. He would have to do it the other way, then, and that's all. 'Well, it's just like a miracle.'

'Accept the miracle, then, and move on, Mollari' advised G'Kar. 'There are things to do.'

And indeed there were. Londo spent the next few days in a sort of a haze, doing things automatically and postponing what he knew deep down he needed to do. Great Maker, he had his choices back! He truly forgot how hard it was to choose!

He set the date at fifth day after he awoke. The news leaked from the palace much earlier, confirmed by high officials, by Vir Cotto, by Sheridan and others. The Drakh's head, on a high, iron pike, was decorating the main place in the capital - G'Kar's idea, aimed at showing everybody that it really was Shadow's allies' doing. But the Centauri, as well as the Alliance, were waiting for him to speak. Five days was what he gave himself to muster up all the courage he had.

Now, the evening before The Day, as Londo has taken to call the dreaded date, he was hosting a quiet dinner, with G'Kar, Vir, Lyta, Sheridan, Delenn, Garibaldi and Franklin.

'I want to propose the first toast to Lyta Alexander' said G'Kar, raising a glass (fancy, Centauri thing, too fragile to hold in hand, as he commented earlier). 'For her help in bringing down the Drakh. We would not be able to do it without you, Lyta.'

Lyta actually blushed slightly. She didn't comment at the fact that for all her help, no one ever thanked her as G'Kar did. And that didn't concern her bank account .

'Yeeees, they were nasty, atrocious creatures!' Londo, after drinking sufficient amount of brivari, felt more like himself. 'I remember having a disgusting bugs in my quarters once. This... this is somewhat alike, only impossibly much worse.'

G'Kar shuddered.

'By G'Quan, Drakh in one's kitchen? It's enough to render someone nauseous for the rest of his life.'

'But now, now finally the cat is out of the bag, as Mr Garibaldi would say!' Londo bowed slightly toward Garibaldi. 'Out and quacking loudly enough for EVERYbody to hear!'

Lyta blinked.

'Quacking?'

Sheridan and Garibaldi exchanged amused looks, but no one actually had the heart to correct Londo on this.

The next morning Timov showed up, complaining loudly at everything and getting more and more irritated as Londo answered to everything with happy 'Yes, love', genuinely pleased beyond measure that it's his wife and not the Drakh who is telling him what to do . She seemed to have more respect toward G'Kar and pure sympathy toward Lyta.

An hour before the ceremony G'Kar found Londo on a balcony behind the throne room, almost visibly trembling with fear and nauseous to the point of being green. In Londo's eyes was utter terror, even greater than before taking a Keeper.

Londo grited his teeth. G'Kar looked at him and actually dared to smile, insolent creature!

'I see you are getting ready to fulfill the last of the prophecies.'

He made it sound as if he were looking at naughty yet sweet child who again forgot what toilet training is for.

'What last of the prophecies?' huffed Londo in not exactly un-childish voice.

'The three chances Lady Morella gave you of course. Did you worked out what they really were?'

'And you did?'

'Yes' smiled G'Kar, very pleased with himself.

'Yeees, well, surprise me.'

'The first was rescuing me from Cartagia’s prison. The second was not to kill yourself while under Keeper influence. You wanted to do that, right? A hanged man. And the third... it is happening just now. It will destroy the old you. There will be no coming back from what you will say today. You have also no guarantee that it will work, that you won't be condemned and shunned aside as you say what you have to say. To hope is to risk after all. And that is why you are so afraid now. Your greatest fear was always to lost what you love, just like of most of us. Am I right?'

Londo gripped metal railing of balcony and stared at the city before him.

'Yes' he replied in quiet voice.

'Don't worry. I will be there with you.'

And they just looked at each other and smiled.

Then Londo was standing before the whole capital city and many guests from other parts of planet. Beside him was newly appointed cabinet of ministers and Alliance representatives - Sheridan, Delenn, Garibaldi and G'Kar as well as Lyta Alexander. His speech was holographically transmitted to even more people and it was going to make the news in all Alliance homeworlds and colonies. He took deep breath and began to talk.

'I... want to apologize. Not only for recent events, but what is more important, I want to apologize for previous wars we were fighting. I want to apologize to Narn and to every other race we, Centauri, attacked. I want to apologize to Centauri people for my involvement with Shadows before the great war broke out. I misunderstood what glory of our Republic should be. But now I know better. As much as it is possible I want to retrieve...'

When he finished, after twenty minutes of bare agony, he looked anxiously at his friends, at his people. To his immense relief G'Kar smiled, as well as did others. But it was what was said later, when they were alone, that was most important to Londo.

'Mollari... understand that I could never forgive your people for invading my world. My people could never forgive your people. But  _I_ can forgive  _you.'_

Londo didn't trust his voice, so he only reached forth and squeezed G'Kar's hand.

'You will always feel the guilt, Mollari, but it is because you care. Some human wrote once that the only cure for grief is action. So just get to work as best as you can.'

 

 

 

**The End**


End file.
